Not So Cool When It's Happening To You...

“Oh wow, that’s so cool!”

This was the reaction of several friends on hearing that I was experiencing prolonged spells of poltergeist-like phenomena at home (as you may have read in my previous blog post, Home and Definitely Not Alone). The activity began slow and escalated, from the end of 2017 up until November 2020. A list briefly citing each incident that stands out can be found at the foot of this blog.

But really, although I’m glad retrospectively I can say that I appreciate that it happened to me, some folks would give their eye teeth to experience weird stuff like that – I’d not want it again and I’d not wish it on anyone.

So what is it actually like when things ‘get real’ in your own home and personal space? Well my responses differed. Initially I was constantly questioning

what had just happened, staying strong stalwart and dismissive. Was this just a fluke, did I imagine it, did it happen naturally? It was a confusing and often frightening time, especially the first incident in which my Bluetooth speaker danced on the bedside table, knock, knock..knock, knock..knock, knock. That was a real hair-raiser, bulging eye what the… moment for sure. My heart has never beaten so fast.

Then, the realisation dawned that this was genuinely something paranormal, and that’s when I began to feel rather weird about the things happening with alarming regularity all around me at all hours of the day and night. How do you deal with this?! Does it get worse? (Yes). Am I going mad? (No). Am I ever actually alone? (No). I couldn’t relax at all, the house didn’t feel like my own even when my other half came home. He works abroad for weeks at a time, and so I am often home alone for long stretches. Stuff would happen when it was just me, and then ‘it’ started involving Jack too. Things would happen and I'd feel light headed, slightly sick, worried, tired, resigned, and generally awful. Home was not home, if that makes sense.

When it got to the stage where things were happening not just once or twice a week but during the day and night and ramping up in ferocity, my health began to suffer. I couldn’t sleep, or I wanted to but when you’re in prey mode, you just try it when you are too scared to close your eyes for one second – for yes, whatever it was communicating, was having a great game at my expense, and it was aware of its power. It knew when I was vulnerable, and it is impossible to allow yourself to relax in that sort of situation. I felt hunted. Even the memory of the happenings and the atmosphere in the house at that time, can bring back the worry. And yes, I still sleep with the light on when alone. I just can’t get the memory of what happened out of my head.

It’s one thing when ‘it’ was trying to make me aware of its presence with small gestures, but when it starts moving large items around me when I’m IN THE ROOM and my back is turned, when heavy objects turn totally around when I’m looking the other way… that’s not ‘hey I’m here!’, that’s more ‘I’m going to make you scared...again.’. The entity, whatever it was, was very happy in its hobby of wreaking havoc in my life.

Some days things would feel normal, and I’d be all upbeat and cheery, then something would happen and I’d sink into gloom – it was happening, still, and there was nothing I could do about it.

After meeting Carolyn Findlay, a genuine medium at the prison back in 2018, I remembered her saying to me that if I ever needed help, she’d be there for me. If ever I needed her, the summer and autumn of 2019 was the time. I felt sick with dread at spending time alone in my own home, but still I put it off and off. Calling Carolyn in to rid my house of ‘it’ was admitting somehow that this was Real. It was scary, and the admittance and cry for help was something that unnerved me greatly. It was I suppose, like admitting you need therapy. It’s a humbling call to make and I put it off and off.

After Jack was badly scratched whilst he sat on our sofa one afternoon, and after picture frames leapt from the wall and travelled around mutiple corners and banged on our door before wedging in the stairs banisters, after the air-con unit in our bedroom launched itself into the wall at 2am and the dead bedside lamp fired up for a few seconds before dying (again), I decided that enough really was enough, and that I MUST call Carolyn.

I apologise if I’ve already recounted this, but I’m going to do so again. Carolyn was reluctant to tell me what I had in my home, there’s certain words that are bandied around by investigators that have the power to frighten. Words like demon for example. And although she didn’t actually use that word, she skirted round it.

What we had was non-human. It had never been alive in physical form. It was stupid, unintelligent, and enjoyed causing mischief and harm where it could, and fed off my energy and fear. If I hadn’t called Carolyn in, things could well have got even worse. She said it was an unusual case because, things like this are often found ‘feeding’ off weak people such as drug addicts or those with severe mental illnesses. So, not much of a weight off my mind in that respect then!! The thing was of small stature, was likely male. It was ugly, and knew that she could see it – it liked especially the landing of our house, and as we walked the top floor, it hid in the corner of the spare room. It didn’t want to go, was trying to hide, knew it had a good nest here with me. Carolyn said that it was as if the headteacher had walked in (her) and the pupil was squirming with awkwardness (it).

Carolyn asked me to leave the house, to go outside into the garden whilst she ‘got rid’ of it. Which she did.

I did still experience phenomena, some pretty drastic (coasters appearing on the outside of the window, flying kebab skewers and oven switching off etc), but the last piece of notable activity was in November of 2020, and (fingers crossed) I have had nothing since.

So, whilst the idea of going ghost hunting might sound enthralling and exciting – and indeed it is on location – to have phenomena happen in your own home, can frankly, be terrifying. ​

The 'monster under the bed' scenarios of childhoods from around the globe might be the stuff of nightmares - but I'm telling you now as an adult, that there really are things that can occupy your home and will be there whether or not you want them to be, things that will scare and torment you. And this understanding does not make you stupid, naieve, childish or weak. It's simply a fact.

I will never forget how it felt or affected me, and consequently, will always be on hand to listen to and if possible, help anybody experiencing strange things in their homes too.

Bluetooth speaker dances deliberately and slowly on bedside table as I lay down. (October 28th 2017)

Henry hoover levitates in living room as I'm watching TV

TV on and off multiple times in living room

TV on and off multiple times in bedroom, once when unplugged

Curtains opened in morning three times in living room

Windows opened wide in spare room during the night (was November and cold, it was not me) (November 12th 2019 day AFTER cleansing by Carolyn)

Coasters appearing on outside of window in spare room, that had been on the ledge inside, Mum and stepdad noted (September 2020)

Downstairs lights coming on during the night multiple times (approx’ 6)

Office curtains opened and closed twice

Picture hanging outside spare room moved 180dgs to bang on our bedroom door then wedge itself in the banisters (2019)

Oven turns off halfway through cook, then metal skewer flies out of unit (August 4th 2020 @ approx’ 4.10pm)

EVPs after funeral home interview – multiple (June 2021)

Coins stand on spines on coffee table for 3hrs + EVP saying “We’re bored ducks!” (July 27th 2019)

Noise like brick dragging over wall in living room then followed me upstairs and across floor. (Summer 2021)

Aircon unit slams into wall at 2.30am. Then bedside light comes on for few secs, but the bulb’s been dead for days. (November 2019)

Jack receives a scratch on his arm almost drawing blood (November 2019)

Fan jumps onto floor from bedside table when my back is turned (not on) (2018)

Fan comes on upstairs when I’m downstairs. It was on rotate (we have it on static) and the base was now facing the wall. (November 2019)

Big black fan that’s hard to tilt, moves position after I visit loo in night. From being facing me in bed from the foot end, the face of the fan is now parallel to the ceiling. (November 2021)

Metal fan next to my bed turns to face the wall when I’m lying reading on my side away from it. (2021)

Metal fan next to my bed has face turned after I come back from the loo. (September 2021)

Metal fan next to my bed has face turned after I turn over from lying on my side, to then face it and see that it is no longer how it was ten mins previously. (14th December 2021)

I turn onto my side when Jack’s away at work, and when I turn back over all his pillows are gone. Where? Stacked up neatly by the bedroom door. (2019)

Landing light turns on and off during the night, multiple times.

Extractor fan in kitchen comes on to setting 3 when I’m upstairs. (2018)

Large Black and Decker lawn mower hood/cover turns up in the middle of our back garden that is walled off on all sides. Asked neighbours, no one knew anything about it. (Autumn 2019)

Porch door that was wedged open slams violently shut when I am in the kitchen. This door is hard to close even when you have your hip against it due to the airlock in the porch itself. (Summer 2019)

Porch door locks me out after heading to takeaway with two friends. Was wedged open. (November 2019)

Lightbulb downstairs shatters very loudly (I thought someone had thrown a bottle through the window – I was upstairs). I had been writing about an incident in which a friend’s lightbulb had shattered as he tried to play some of my EVPs, the dongle flew from his computer, and the laptop died on the spot as the glass from the bulb rained down. I am still finding glass. Some of it melted the carpet. (Summer 2021)

George Forman grill comes on when I’m writing upstairs. Smoke alarm goes off – it was not on when I left or it would have sounded within ten mins. I’d been writing for nearly 2 hours. (2019)

Laundry basket rocks deliberately and slowly side to side on the landing as I’m coming out of the loo. (Nov’ 2021)

Hot tap comes on full downstairs in the kitchen as Jack and I are upstairs doing our teeth before bed. (March 2022).

Metal skewer is balanced on the kitchen worktop overhanging the edge, held under a coaster (20th March 2022)

Chisel found overhanging the kitchen worktop, wedged under the drying rack. (April 24th 2022)

A4 papers found on the wall, not stuck with anything. (April 2022)

Multiple times the swing bin lid (closed) bangs. It's roughly every other night in the evenings as I'm watching TV in the other room and I hear it go. It could be a mouse maybe, running off the freezer and using the bin as a way down? But as far as I know we have no mouse! I st up the camcorder to record it after it went 6 times the other night, but typically, nothing happened. Watch this space... (19th, 21st, 23rd June 2022)